Starting therapy can be a transformative step toward personal growth, healing, or managing life’s challenges. Whether you are addressing something you have carried for years, navigating an evolving identity, dealing with a stressful situation, or embarking on therapeutic training, finding the “right” therapist can feel daunting—a bit like online dating. You read profiles, look at pictures, and search for a connection that compels you to send that enquiry.

Have you ever wondered what really happens in therapy? Even after deciding to start, stepping into the unknown with someone you have never met can feel intimidating. The idea of delving into your inner world, whether for weeks, months, or years, may raise many questions. My hope is that this post will demystify the process, ease your concerns, and help you feel prepared to take that first step.

What Happens Before the Session?

Therapists work in diverse ways, and it would be impossible to summarise every approach. Here, I will share what you can expect when working with me, which may be similar to what you know or totally new.

Once you send an enquiry, I will respond with my current availability. If it suits you, we will arrange a short introductory call, lasting about five to ten minutes. This call is an opportunity for us to “meet” before the session, giving you space to share what brings you to therapy and to ask any questions that may be on your mind. Many clients find this initial conversation helpful in easing anxieties about starting the process.

For personal development group participants, I also use a short questionnaire to get a sense of what brings them to a group setting. If you would like to know more, read my weekly blog for updates on group therapy, mental health, and personal growth, where I will share another post on Personal Development groups.

The First Therapy Session

Have you ever thought about what you would like to say in a therapy session but felt unsure where to start? In our first session, I will ask you questions to better understand your goals, previous experiences with therapy, if any, and any specific needs or preferences you may have. These questions might include what led you to seek it now, what you hope to achieve, or whether there are any fears or uncertainties you would like to address. If you are unsure of your goals, that is perfectly okay. Some clients come to therapy not knowing what they want but have a clearer sense of what they do not want. This can be an equally valuable starting point.

It is common for questions like “What do you want to get out of therapy?” to feel overwhelming. Responses such as “I just want to be happy” are broad and open to exploration. Together, we might gently break this down, exploring what happiness means to you, when you last felt happy, and how that feeling might look for you now. Therapy is a collaborative process, and it is okay if some answers take time to uncover. If expressing yourself through words feels difficult, we can explore other ways, such as imagery, metaphors, or even creative expressions like music. Have you ever tried describing how you feel through a song or a picture? There is no “right” way to be in therapy; the way you are is already enough for us to begin.

Gestalt therapy allows us to work with anything you bring into the room, using dialogue and relationship-building. After all, we are relational beings, and healing often happens within relationships.

Let’s Talk about Therapy Myths

Many clients come to therapy with preconceived notions that can add to their anxiety. Let me address a few common misconceptions. Have you ever pictured a session as lying on a couch while someone takes notes? You have my word that I will not be holding a clipboard, and you will not have to lie on a couch. Instead, we will sit comfortably in chairs, or even on the floor if that feels better for you. Therapy is not about judgment or evaluation but about creating a space where trust can grow. Opening up takes courage, and there is no expectation for you to share everything with me right away. Like any relationship, therapy takes time, and the pace is entirely yours to set.

Therapy is not just for people experiencing significant mental health challenges or for those who feel indulgent. In my experience, it is for anyone curious about self-awareness, personal development, or improving their relationships. Therapy is one of the best self-care acts we can do for ourselves. After all, when was the last time you made yourself important enough to use an hour where it is all about you?

Some people have internalised beliefs from those around them about their identity, making them think that they are “too complex” or have too much “baggage”. The good news is that we can unpack all of this and see what you would like to do now. This will take time, and it is not a linear process—more like a ride on a windy road in the company of your therapist.

Even small changes made in therapy can ripple outward, transforming not just your inner world but also how you engage with the people and environments around you. When we change, our perspective shifts, and so does the way we see the world.

So, What Happens Next?

Have you wondered what happens after that first session? Usually, two things can happen, just like after a first date. Either we decide to part ways, or if we are a good fit, we continue working together. If we do, we will discuss the length and focus of therapy.

For shorter-term work, I typically recommend a minimum of twelve to sixteen weeks to address a specific issue. For open-ended therapy, we will set goals and review them regularly, adapting as needed. Therapy is a shared journey, with you as the captain. Your feedback and questions are invaluable in shaping the work we do together.

A Final Thought

As someone who has been in therapy for nearly a decade, I wholeheartedly believe it is one of the greatest acts of self-care I have ever done for myself. Therapy does not just benefit you; it also impacts the people and environments around you. When we take care of ourselves, we create a ripple effect of change that touches every part of our lives.

If you have read this far, what thoughts or questions are coming up for you? Starting therapy is an act of courage, and you deserve the support and care it offers. If you are ready to take the first step or have any questions, feel free to reach out. I would be honoured to walk alongside you.